Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show
“Holiday Breakdown in a Bottle” Red Cord Beaded Necklace | 26” | Magnetic Clasp | Glitter Bottle Pendant
“Holiday Breakdown in a Bottle” Red Cord Beaded Necklace | 26” | Magnetic Clasp | Glitter Bottle Pendant
New to the Shit Show? Get 10% off your first order of $25+. 🎉
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Shipping (no mystery here)
Shipping (no mystery here)
Under $25: $4.95 flat
$25 to $74.99: $7.95 flat
$75 and up: FREE shipping
Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico: $13.99 flat
We pack your order and hand it to USPS within 3 business days.
Custom pieces take up to 3 weeks to create, then ship right out.
See our Shipping Policy page for the full details.
🖤 DESCRIPTION
Festive… but make it unhinged. 🎄
This piece shows up like it has its life together—deep red cord, bold beads, clean design…
…but then you notice the tiny bottle of bottled chaos hanging at the bottom and suddenly it all makes sense.
Red, green, and pearly accents scream holiday spirit while quietly whispering “I will absolutely cry in the bathroom at some point.”
Finished with a magnetic clasp because we don’t have time (or patience) to struggle.
🧠 PERSONALITY
🎄 aggressively festive
🍷 one inconvenience away from losing it
✨ keeps it together in public… barely
⚠️ emotionally wrapped but not processed
📿 DETAILS
- Approx. 26” red cord necklace
- Magnetic clasp (easy snap, no drama… mostly)
- Red, green & pearl-style beads
- Decorative metal connector accent
- Mini glass bottle pendant with multicolor glitter + cork
- Lightweight & one-of-a-kind
- Handmade chaos, obviously
🎯 PERFECT FOR
- Holiday lovers with unresolved issues
- People who decorate to cope
- “I’m fine” but in red
- Anyone who thrives in seasonal chaos
It’s giving holiday cheer… with a side of emotional damage. 🎄💀
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