Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show
Highland Cow Candle — Zero Moo-d for Your Bull
Highland Cow Candle — Zero Moo-d for Your Bull
New to the Shit Show? Get 10% off your first order of $25+. 🎉
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Shipping (no mystery here)
Shipping (no mystery here)
Under $25: $4.95 flat
$25 to $74.99: $7.95 flat
$75 and up: FREE shipping
Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico: $13.99 flat
We pack your order and hand it to USPS within 3 business days.
Custom pieces take up to 3 weeks to create, then ship right out.
See our Shipping Policy page for the full details.
Great hair. Strong boundaries. Absolutely no moo-d for your bull.
This handmade Highland cow candle has shaggy sculpted fur, little horns, and a sweet face that suggests she hasn’t read the family group chat yet.
Her pink finish brings a pop of color to your shelf, while her bangs provide excellent coverage for silently judging people.
A fun gift for cow lovers, farmhouse fans, and anyone whose personality falls somewhere between “adorable” and “please stop talking.”
Cute cow. Firm boundaries. Take your bull elsewhere.
• Includes one Highland cow shaped candle
• Pink finish with detailed shaggy fur, horns, and black-and-white eye details
• Freestanding sculptural design
• Handmade variations in color and finish make each cow unique
Display away from heat and direct sunlight. If burning, place upright on a heat-resistant dish large enough to catch melted wax. Never leave a burning candle unattended.
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