Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show

Happy Birthday Scented Candle — Another Year of Fabulous Chaos

$14.95 USD

Sale Sold out

Shipping calculated at checkout.

New to the Shit Show? Get 10% off your first order of $25+. 🎉

Color: Purple

Shipping (no mystery here)

Under $25: $4.95 flat
$25 to $74.99: $7.95 flat
$75 and up: FREE shipping
Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico: $13.99 flat

We pack your order and hand it to USPS within 3 business days.
Custom pieces take up to 3 weeks to create, then ship right out.

See our Shipping Policy page for the full details.

Happy birthday! Another year older, and your life still doesn’t come with adult supervision.

This handmade scented candle comes in a clear, rounded glass container with colorful “Happy Birthday” lettering. Perfect for celebrating your favorite beautifully dysfunctional human—or yourself, because buying your own present avoids disappointment.

Choose from the available scents and wax colors to match their personality. Unfortunately, we cannot include patience, common sense, or a functioning sleep schedule.

Make a wish. Lower your expectations. Enjoy your candle.

• Includes one Happy Birthday candle
• Clear glass container with colorful birthday lettering
• Multiple scents and wax colors available
• Choose your preferred scent and color before adding to cart
• Handmade variations in color and finish are part of its personality

Burn upright on a stable, heat-resistant surface. Allow the glass to cool before handling. Never leave a burning candle unattended.