Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show
Build Your Own Sucker Leash
Build Your Own Sucker Leash
New to the Shit Show? Get 10% off your first order of $25+. 🎉
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Shipping (no mystery here)
Shipping (no mystery here)
Under $25: $4.95 flat
$25 to $74.99: $7.95 flat
$75 and up: FREE shipping
Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico: $13.99 flat
We pack your order and hand it to USPS within 3 business days.
Custom pieces take up to 3 weeks to create, then ship right out.
See our Shipping Policy page for the full details.
Build your own sucker leash, because your tiny human already runs the shit show. Their accessories might as well match.
Pick your cord color, choose your bead colors, and decide whether to add a name. You are in charge of this one. Enjoy that feeling while it lasts.
Want a focal bead? We will email you photos of the exact ones we have on hand so you can choose your favorite. No mystery beads. Your tiny boss provides enough surprises.
These are made to order, so allow about 2 weeks for us to create yours, plus shipping time. Custom chaos takes a little time.
And the clip color? We match it to your cord. One less decision for the brain currently juggling snacks, laundry, and whatever is in that child’s mouth.
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