Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show
💜🥀 Lilac Candle
💜🥀 Lilac Candle
New to the Shit Show? Get 10% off your first order of $25+. 🎉
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Shipping (no mystery here)
Shipping (no mystery here)
Under $25: $4.95 flat
$25 to $74.99: $7.95 flat
$75 and up: FREE shipping
Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico: $13.99 flat
We pack your order and hand it to USPS within 3 business days.
Custom pieces take up to 3 weeks to create, then ship right out.
See our Shipping Policy page for the full details.
Soft floral scent. Absolutely zero emotional stability.
This candle smells like a spring day you don’t trust. Classic lilac — clean, floral, nostalgic — the kind of scent that makes you feel things you were actively avoiding. It’s giving “fresh air,” “fake optimism,” and “this won’t end well.”
Hand-poured and sculpted into a bouquet that looks polite but knows your secrets, this candle exists to trick your brain into thinking everything’s fine. It’s not. But the room smells amazing.
Light it during a spiral, a forced self-care moment, or while pretending you’re a calm, balanced adult.
Details:
• Lilac-scented (fresh, floral, emotionally suspicious)
• Hand-poured floral design
• Burns clean or just sits there being prettier than your coping skills
• Each candle is slightly imperfect — because obviously
FDSS certified: Smells like healing. Delivers nothing of the sort.
Just vibes. Questionable ones.
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