{"title":"Merry Shit Show (Christmas Items)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFestive AF \u0026amp; Barely Behaving. 🎄\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWelcome to the Merry Shit Show, where the gifts have personality and we’ve misplaced the tape. Again.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eShop Christmas creations full of holiday cheer and a little FDSS attitude. Whether you’re decorating your space, spoiling your favorite human, or buying yourself something because surviving holiday gatherings deserves a reward, we’ve got festive finds for your kind of Christmas.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMake your list, check it twice, and grab something good before your holiday budget turns into another questionable decision.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMerry everything. Let the shenanigans begin.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"wickless-chaos-tree-zero-flame-maximum-attitude","title":"Wickless Chaos Tree – Zero Flame, Maximum Attitude","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is a candle that refuses to do candle things.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo wick.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo fire.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo chance of burning your house down while you spiral.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis wickless tree candle is pure decorative chaos — hand-poured, layered, and topped with a sparkly star that’s doing the most. It exists solely to sit there and look unreasonably cute while judging your holiday decisions.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for people who love the idea of candles but not the responsibility. Or for anyone who wants festive vibes without smoke, flame, or consequences.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePut it on a shelf. A desk. A table Next to your emotional baggage.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Important Stuff (before someone asks):\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWickless decorative candle\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo flame, no scent throw, no fire hazard\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand-poured with layered color chaos\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReusable as decor year after year\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade by FDSS — Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBest For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🎄 People who like candles but don’t trust themselves\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🎄 Holiday decor with personality issues\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e🎄 Anyone who wants festive vibes without commitment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis candle will not light up your life —\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ebut it will sit there looking cute and minding its business.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46317528613053,"sku":null,"price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0704\/5532\/8957\/files\/8563573D-3D46-4B8D-9003-29F2D70AB8E9.jpg?v=1768614577"},{"product_id":"catch-me-if-you-can-gingerbread-shepherds-hook-bookmark","title":"Catch Me If You Can | Gingerbread Shepherd's Hook Bookmark","description":"\u003cp\u003eRun, run, as fast as he can - he ran straight out of the oven and into your book, and honestly, he has never been safer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis handmade shepherd's hook bookmark slides right over your book's spine or between the pages while the gingerbread man hangs out below on a mint-green and marbled bead dangle. Rosy cheeks, a tiny green bow tie, white icing details, and absolutely zero intention of being eaten.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe is one of a kind, so when he runs off, he is gone for good. Catch him while you can.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDetails: mint-green metal shepherd's hook with lobster clasp; silicone gingerbread focal bead with mint and marbled accent beads. Lightweight, so he won't bully your pages.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67862628794557,"sku":null,"price":10.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0704\/5532\/8957\/files\/gingerbread-bookmark-1.jpg?v=1792572102"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0704\/5532\/8957\/collections\/EC9F33A4-7FD0-45AF-9054-994B5512EFA2.jpg?v=1792570479","url":"https:\/\/www.fundyshow.com\/collections\/christmas.oembed","provider":"Functional Dysfunctional Shit Show","version":"1.0","type":"link"}